[Event Post]

[frozenperdition]

Eira can be found on the Island, presumably waiting for someone. She's in a chicken coop, yelling at them. The phrase 'fox in the henhouse' somehow comes to mind as you look at her and what she's... doing?

"You stupid feather brained morons! You'll never be dinosaurs again, you hear me?! I may have been no-clipped outta reality for years, but I am BACK and I am here to ENSURE that you will never be what you have the potential to be!"

She snaps her teeth at them, too sharp, and... yeah, those are fox ears and tails she's sporting too.

Comments

[theheadmonarch]

... Are you at war with the chickens, honey.

::Peaking into the chicken farm, squinting, dressed how she would look if she hadn't attached to trashy 80s stripper vibes.::

[frozenperdition]

"With all birds, auntie."

She takes a slightly more dignified position.

"I estimate that my disappearing act means we'll see dinosaurs back on earth within a year, and I alone could have delayed it by a decade. Maybe convinced others of the impending dangers, maybe prevented it entirely. Alas."

[theheadmonarch]

... There are Dinosaurs in the 12 Dimensions... Hrm...

::Ponders.::

[frozenperdition]

"Yeah... And they'll be here soon, won't they? I tried to warn everyone..."

She shakes her head.

"My one person war on dinosaurs and birds aside, what's up auntie? Last time you came to talk to me outside of family time it was for ominous foreshadowing of me being my parent's paradox kid, and uh. Yeah, good call. I think being armed with that knowledge actually saved my life/existence."

[theheadmonarch]

As long as the Worst Case Scenario doesn't emerge, we should be fine.

And oh.

I got married again last year. Mostly been stepping back and taking care of Kamala and Sumiho. Considering having a kid with my new wife...

::Pauses.::

Do you want any candy.

[frozenperdition]

"Yeah, I think we've got a good handle on all of this, auntie. At least I do." She grins. "Helen's agreed to sit out of actually doing anything for a few months, so hopefully that'll help."

A tilt of her head.

"Yeah, I'd love a chocolate bar, with almonds, if possible. I've got a day ahead of me. You know what I'm here to do, yeah?"

[theheadmonarch]

::Pulls out a chocolate-almond bar from her lab coat, handing it over to her niece.::



And yes. You're potentially going to need to build up speed for 48 hours to do a Backwards Long Jump to leap between parallel realities, as I made that entire structure down there a death trap.

Or just get really good at timed jumps and sliding.

[frozenperdition]

She snags it and begins munching on it.

"Thanks!

... yeah, I was worried about all of that. I think if I recall fading out of reality and vibrate fast enough I could do the former. The latter, uh, maybe if I could figure out how to get back into my first body, but that'd be more effort than the vibrating... or maybe the fox is fast enough? Whatever, the point is that this body isn't gonna cut it until it's sixteen or so.

Honestly I'm gonna give it a few shots to get my head in the game, then probably wait for Haita, since Gina's sending him my way 'cause he wants to get down there too."

[theheadmonarch]

The two of you should. Probably. Be able to do it together.



::Ponders.::

But. yeah. It's basically a series of increasingly rude death traps down there. With my usual caveats of 'the fate of anyone who loses too many times'.

... Unless you two can find the bunny hat. Hrm. Where did I hide that...

[frozenperdition]

"Hmm... maybe if there's caveats like that I'll wait for Haita, so I don't use up any of my own tries, give us both some breathing room. Mostly me. I've still gotta pass high school, investigate a nightclub, fix a curse, and get richer than even you. And trying to glitch out of any workings you did sounds like it'd take Helen months if not years to fix me. Thanks for the heads up.

... we'll find it. Probably."

[theheadmonarch]

On the one hand it is 99 tries.

On the other hand, it's a nightmare.

... You'll have to find a way to be richer than an outright religion, sweetie. But, if anyone can do it, it's you.

... Do you need a fake ID for the nightclub?

::Thinking to herself.::

[frozenperdition]

"Yeah, grand scheme of things that's not too many attempts to beat a real life kaizo nightmare with probable bent space and time, so I'll focus on being Haita's eyes since I think I've got more of a knack for that than him.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, auntie. I was getting people into my pump and dump NFT and crypto scams and it was good fleecing these tech nerds, but it's just collapsed, so I gotta figure out how to do that but better. Maybe make it 4D? And if I do it right, they'll have already given me their money if I can cut out the whole causation/correlation thing, but that also feels like it could get messy fast.

Maybe? I'm working on being able to take the form of my first body, the male one. Can't hold it for long enough to be useful yet, but paperwork for 'Renat Briar' should be easy enough to get ahold of, if you can. Helen's patch of me was pretty damn shoddy, so thankfully he/me still exists in some form or another legally and in memories. I'm technically a 14 year old girl, so I'd like to not stick out QUITE like a sore thumb in the club."

[theheadmonarch]

... Try 5D and a fake goatee respectively.

[frozenperdition]

"... 5D would actually work, and if I could ACTUALLY make it work than being JUST a scam, and make it work across multiple dimensions...

... that would work, wouldn't it."

[theheadmonarch]

It's all about believing your own bullshit, honey. Fake it until you make it.

::Tapping the sides of her head.::

[frozenperdition]

"Honestly some of the best advice I've gotten recently. Not knowing what the hell I'm doing shouldn't stop me at all, huh? Hasn't stopped you, has it? And if I'm anything like how you or mom work, that's basically the rule, isn't it?"

[theheadmonarch]

There is absolutely a certain level of theory and practice and route reputation and the like you should be doing.

But after a certain point, as I said. Yeah. The rule is "Fake it until you make it", especially if you're doing Illusion Magic. You have to believe a lie so hard it becomes the truth.

[frozenperdition]

"Well, yeah. That's what studying with Miss Fang is for, to learn the ins and outs of what she's doing. Mom's got... SOME ideas, not all of them particularly practical for me, but they're there. You'd... honestly be my best bet at being taught, I think?"

[theheadmonarch]

... In theory.

"Ms. Fang" knows the more technical sides, but if you really want me to help as well. I can. I just have specific views on how to learn, especially if you want to hit the ground running, fast and hard...

[frozenperdition]

"Yeah? I'd be interested, honestly. I've got a feeling that I may need it sooner rather than later, and as much as I'd love to skip the extreme training and hit it a leisurely pace, uh... Well, what I'm standing on top of kinda proves the need."

[theheadmonarch]

...

::Takes a deep breath.::



Give me a moment.

::Firmly places a hand on your shoulder, as her face gets concerningly unhinged.::



Eira, honey. Last chance to walk away, just be a mostly normal girl, be dumb and reckless with your sister, run some hustles. Live a fairly normal life. What you'll learn from me can't be unlearned.

::Squeezes your shoulder. Not painfully. But.::

[frozenperdition]

Eira gets very serious.

"You're saying like I had a chance to be a normal person in the first place. I was born a glitch by my parents doing SOMETHING stupid, I got picked at just enough by this damn cat to near unravel, and I'm being held together by the cosmic equivalent of duct tape from a walking paradox.

I've got a super powerful curse to break and I'm gonna guess my meddling in all this is gonna bring me into conflict with real similar stuff. I'm gonna learn, and I'm gonna be the best student you've ever had."

[theheadmonarch]

::Takes a breath again.::

Very well. Just understand, when we're done, if we're done, those are going to look like parlor tricks.



::Pats your shoulder.::

First, let's firm your existence up with just a dash bit more than duct tape, before I start unspooling your conception of sanity. To let you look at the world the way I've learned to see it.

And see if my other current apprentice wants a classmate.

[frozenperdition]

"Please. I'd really like to not unravel again."

They mull over the rest of the statement, then nod.

"I'm in. It's not like I've got a normal outlook on things anyway. What's another layer of madness?"

[theheadmonarch]

Then... let me figure out somewhere private for us to meet. And get the materials for helping ground at least you. And maybe your sister. Though, as a word of warning.

::Taps her shoe in the chicken farm.::

It's very easy to go astray with Illusion Magic, and the cat below us is a good example. Bohr tried to internalize all the right lessons. In all the wrong ways.